I have nothing interesting of my own to report, so you get these instead:
A bus station is where a Bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops. I call my desk a Work station.
The president of a democracy is a man who is always ready, willing and able to lay down your life for his country.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
The theory of relativity: If Einstein was correct and everything is relative, then it's all your parents' fault. Blame them as often as you can.
You have no idea how acutely depressing it is to realize we're from the same species.
You want spontaneity? Spontaneity is scheduled for Wednesday.
Friends are over-rated, enemies make life a lot more interesting.
If today is not your day, then make sure it's no one else day either.
It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.
When did I realise I was God? Well I was praying, and I suddenly realised I was talking to myself.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
Wow…in a few million years the sun will expand and swallow the Earth, turning it into a large charcoal briquette. The oceans and atmosphere will boil away and nothing…not even microbes, bacteria or coackroaches…will survive. Now explain to me why I’m supposed to care about this next staff meeting?
The only guys I’d kiss are fictional.
Ta da! You may now begin grovelling at my feet. Good minions.
::ETA:: <--- My new shirt. Pretty. Ummm...yes. That is all.